Foster Care.

For numerous reasons, I have grown up afraid of it, afraid of them. They were in it. 

They were kids at school, siblings in church, and the people who lived down the street from my best friend in elementary. They were always around, but sadly, I never found myself entering their world. It was unknown. And unknown is scary. Since I am one to cry when fish or turtles die, I am NOT one for unexpected goodbyes. They could just leave; they could disappear with absolutely no explanation.

There has been a day or two during work when I can hear my dad’s voice repeating what he said to me when I told him and mom I planned to major in early childhood education...

“Madison, you can’t take them all home with you.” 

A small part of my heart said, “Why not?” 

The other part of my heart said, “Dad, do not worry. I’m too scared to enter into THAT world. I always have been.”

Nearly two years in the classroom, I can say I have only experienced one moment where my heart broke into a million pieces over one of them. The fear of the unknown and the goodbye kept me from investing in, caring for, and loving on them before. Until an unexpected goodbye happened…a goodbye I did not even know about until it had already taken place. I had told them I would see them tomorrow, but I would not. I did not know my goodbye would be forever. Tears flowed for weeks on end. I cried for months at the mention of their name. I cried myself to sleep for a week straight because I could not figure out what I could do for them. Then, the Lord told me to be still. I finally made myself still and He gently whispered, “You introduced My kind of love. You did your part. Continue on.” What I feared the most was over. Though it deeply hurt, it was the first time I allowed myself to not ignore their situation as a whole, but enter right into their mess and distress.

“We can’t let the fear of loving a child that might leave us deter us; we must let the fear of a child never knowing our love drive us.” ~Jason Johnson

Adoption is not always the answer for them. No, it is usually always more difficult of a process than that. If it was a simple process, I can assure you my husband and I would already have a house full. Unfortunately, foster care is much more complicated. After several months or years, sometimes one party says reunify; another says terminate rights. What the system sees as a success can quickly become a failure that begins the entire process all over. These poor children are stuck in a limbo for a large portion of their lives. They move from home to home. They did not ask for it. They find themselves in the system because of others' poor choices. Situations are nasty. Stories are heartbreaking.

Children in the system, though, should not be what I had made them out to be. A little girl who calls me “My Nadi” is opening my eyes to all things foster care and has been for roughly four months now (I am by no means close to an expert). Ryan and I are not her foster parents. We are just two people that bounce in and out of her foster parents’ home because they happen to be my sweet family that live 8.2 miles up the road. If there is one thing I have learned by knowing this precious princess and her brother, it is that a person does not have to become a foster parent to be involved in foster care. You just have to care; you wholeheartedly care for the children in the system. (If you feel at all interested or led to foster care, though, please check into Oklahoma Fosters or the child protective services in your state).

Why enter into their mess and distress? Why not run for the hills out of fear? Why not remain indifferent? The main reason—Someone entered directly into our distress 2,000 years ago to offer hope. Except our messy situation was our own fault. We had been living in an open rebellion against God for thousands of years. Jesus came as the Redeemer. Jesus rescued us. The cost? Giving up His life on the cross as the ultimate sacrifice for all of humanity’s sin. Jesus came to heal what was broken—the relationship between man and Almighty God. He invests in, cares for, loves on, and enters into the world of all those who repent.

Foster care brings hope.

Foster care exists to mend relationships. 

Foster care helps rescue children from danger. 

Foster care begins the healing of what is broken. 

Foster care reflects Christ's love.
Foster care is a sacrifice. 

The sacrifice can be great or small.

The sacrifice can be giving up your comfortable life to foster.
The sacrifice can be saying goodbye unexpectedly.

The sacrifice can be offering babysitting or grocery shopping to foster parents. 

The sacrifice can be granting extra patience to the foster child in your classroom.

The sacrifice can be laying down all pride to ride a motorized cow around the entire mall with a 3 year old. 

Whatever the sacrifice, it is indeed worth it. Jesus thought we were worth entering into the world for. I know He thinks foster children are worth entering into their world, also. 

He showed me by introducing a princess named “Z.”

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27. (emphasis added)

Nicknames.

As a teenager, I grew very inquisitive about who my parents were in high school. I took to searching tirelessly through their old yearbooks each evening to decide if we would have been friends, had I lived in the same generation and went to the same school. 

One could understand my astonishment when every classmate who signed my dad’s yearbook addressed him as ”Killer.” I was slightly alarmed at first, and after asking my mom (who just told me to ask my dad), I found it was only a nickname that a teacher had given him. According to my dad, “The name just stuck.” I am hoping that the English teacher chose that name based on dad's killer writing skills in his English classroom or dad's superior athletic ability in the gym and on the field. We may never know.

Anyone on my mother’s side of the family calls her one of two things. The first is Lynnette, which is her actual middle name. I do not consider that a nickname. I consider that confusing for “Lynnette’s” kids. I was always quick to correct each extended family member by telling him or her that my mom’s name was in fact, “Leigh.” I thought I was doing them a favor. Do they really not know who she is?! Probably after being embarrassed by my outbursts on several occasions, she explained to me that because there was a “LeRoy” and a “Lee” already in her family, “Lynnette” helped keep it straight. 

The majority of her family calls her by something else, though. A nickname that describes something that she may or may not have repeatedly done at inopportune times as a toddler. I would assume most people outgrow names given at the age of two. However, to this day, I will still answer my mom's phone to hear, “Poo, is that you?” Yes, I'll stop right there on that one. 

Webster’s dictionary defines the word nickname as: “a usually descriptive name given instead of or in addition to the one belonging to a person, place, or thing.” A nickname usually describes a person’s personality or something the person may do. It usually tells a little more about who a person is.

Personally, I do not have a nickname, as I’m not sure a shortening of my actual name counts. Other people can relate to that, while others have several nicknames. Some nicknames that often slip my mind are the ones we hear each and every day: Husband, Wife, Dad, Mom, Sister, Brother, Grandma, Grandpa, Grammy, Grampy, etc. These nicknames are obviously titles, but very much describe a person often by telling others who they are, whose they are, and what they do.

The first person that comes to mind in having countless nicknames and titles is God. And unlike my dad’s nickname, God’s nicknames all have specific meanings. Everyone knows why He is called by each name. They tell of His character—who He is and what He does. 

God’s nicknames are also very different from my mother’s. A person does not know my mother better by hearing her called, “Poo.” Every title of God’s tells more about Him. A person learns something different about Him with every name they hear. His nicknames, or titles, come directly from Scripture and there is an endless amount. I would like to just share a few:

Abba, Father.

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” Romans 8:14-15.

Through trusting in Christ as Savior of our lives, God adopts us into His family. We become children of God. He becomes our Abba, Father—a devoted, loyal, and trustworthy Father--who we share an intimate relationship with.

Sustainer.

“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22.

To sustain is “to provide what is needed for someone to continue to exist, to hold up the weight of, to deal with or experience something bad, to give support or relief.” God is our ultimate Sustainer. He is with us in the everyday, the best days, and the worst days. He provides for us, He holds us up, and He gives us relief.

Shepherd.

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1.

Shepherds guide their sheep. They care for them by giving them what they need and keeping them from danger. God is our Great Shepherd. He guides us, cares for us, protects us, and keeps us.

“He’s the Great Shepherd, the Rock of all Ages, Almighty God is He!”

Father of the fatherless.

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” Psalm 68:5.

Several places of Scripture refer to God caring for the wanderer, the poor, the widow, and the orphan. Sojourner or not, in poverty or not, losing a spouse or not, fatherless or not, these references also represent where every one of us stand, apart from His saving grace.

Promise Keeper.

“Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.” Joshua 21:45.

My dad attended many “Promise Keeper” conferences when I was growing up. (which is why I do not drink milk anymore, but that is a whole different story). I was and still very much am enthralled by that title. God keeps His promises—every single promise that He makes. He will never fail. 

Rock.

“He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” Psalm 62:2.

“Rock of Ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee.”

Think about a mountain. Mountains do not tend to move. They do not tend to shake. They are sturdy. It is an illustration of safety--the place to go when all is falling down around us. God is our rock, our safety, our refuge, our help.

Redeemer.

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” Isaiah 54:5.

My mother’s favorite hymn is “Redeemed.” This passage from Isaiah has many names of God, but “Redeemer” tells of one thing He does. He redeems. He redeems us from sin. He redeems us by the blood of the Lamb. He redeems us to Himself.

“I think of my blessed Redeemer, I think of Him all the day long: I sing, for I cannot be silent; His love is the theme of my song.”

Creator.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isaiah 40:28.

God is Creator. He created everything. Just look around for a moment and let that sink in. God is the one who formed you in your mother’s womb, put the stars in the sky and called them each by name, built mountains, filled oceans, striped zebras….the list could go on forever.

“Almighty Father, Master and Lord,

King of all kings and Redeemer,

Wonderful Counselor, Comforter, Friend,

Savior and Source of our life without end.

You are worthy, Father, Creator.

You are worthy, Savior, Sustainer. 

You are worthy, worthy and wonderful;

Worthy of worship and praise.”

Those are just a handful of God’s “nicknames” that do exactly what nicknames should do: describe. 
Please, feel free to share others, as there are countless more.