Foster Care.

For numerous reasons, I have grown up afraid of it, afraid of them. They were in it. 

They were kids at school, siblings in church, and the people who lived down the street from my best friend in elementary. They were always around, but sadly, I never found myself entering their world. It was unknown. And unknown is scary. Since I am one to cry when fish or turtles die, I am NOT one for unexpected goodbyes. They could just leave; they could disappear with absolutely no explanation.

There has been a day or two during work when I can hear my dad’s voice repeating what he said to me when I told him and mom I planned to major in early childhood education...

“Madison, you can’t take them all home with you.” 

A small part of my heart said, “Why not?” 

The other part of my heart said, “Dad, do not worry. I’m too scared to enter into THAT world. I always have been.”

Nearly two years in the classroom, I can say I have only experienced one moment where my heart broke into a million pieces over one of them. The fear of the unknown and the goodbye kept me from investing in, caring for, and loving on them before. Until an unexpected goodbye happened…a goodbye I did not even know about until it had already taken place. I had told them I would see them tomorrow, but I would not. I did not know my goodbye would be forever. Tears flowed for weeks on end. I cried for months at the mention of their name. I cried myself to sleep for a week straight because I could not figure out what I could do for them. Then, the Lord told me to be still. I finally made myself still and He gently whispered, “You introduced My kind of love. You did your part. Continue on.” What I feared the most was over. Though it deeply hurt, it was the first time I allowed myself to not ignore their situation as a whole, but enter right into their mess and distress.

“We can’t let the fear of loving a child that might leave us deter us; we must let the fear of a child never knowing our love drive us.” ~Jason Johnson

Adoption is not always the answer for them. No, it is usually always more difficult of a process than that. If it was a simple process, I can assure you my husband and I would already have a house full. Unfortunately, foster care is much more complicated. After several months or years, sometimes one party says reunify; another says terminate rights. What the system sees as a success can quickly become a failure that begins the entire process all over. These poor children are stuck in a limbo for a large portion of their lives. They move from home to home. They did not ask for it. They find themselves in the system because of others' poor choices. Situations are nasty. Stories are heartbreaking.

Children in the system, though, should not be what I had made them out to be. A little girl who calls me “My Nadi” is opening my eyes to all things foster care and has been for roughly four months now (I am by no means close to an expert). Ryan and I are not her foster parents. We are just two people that bounce in and out of her foster parents’ home because they happen to be my sweet family that live 8.2 miles up the road. If there is one thing I have learned by knowing this precious princess and her brother, it is that a person does not have to become a foster parent to be involved in foster care. You just have to care; you wholeheartedly care for the children in the system. (If you feel at all interested or led to foster care, though, please check into Oklahoma Fosters or the child protective services in your state).

Why enter into their mess and distress? Why not run for the hills out of fear? Why not remain indifferent? The main reason—Someone entered directly into our distress 2,000 years ago to offer hope. Except our messy situation was our own fault. We had been living in an open rebellion against God for thousands of years. Jesus came as the Redeemer. Jesus rescued us. The cost? Giving up His life on the cross as the ultimate sacrifice for all of humanity’s sin. Jesus came to heal what was broken—the relationship between man and Almighty God. He invests in, cares for, loves on, and enters into the world of all those who repent.

Foster care brings hope.

Foster care exists to mend relationships. 

Foster care helps rescue children from danger. 

Foster care begins the healing of what is broken. 

Foster care reflects Christ's love.
Foster care is a sacrifice. 

The sacrifice can be great or small.

The sacrifice can be giving up your comfortable life to foster.
The sacrifice can be saying goodbye unexpectedly.

The sacrifice can be offering babysitting or grocery shopping to foster parents. 

The sacrifice can be granting extra patience to the foster child in your classroom.

The sacrifice can be laying down all pride to ride a motorized cow around the entire mall with a 3 year old. 

Whatever the sacrifice, it is indeed worth it. Jesus thought we were worth entering into the world for. I know He thinks foster children are worth entering into their world, also. 

He showed me by introducing a princess named “Z.”

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27. (emphasis added)

Sleep and Sunrise.

My mother has always said that I require more sleep than the average human being. She has told me countless times that I am the person who keeps the average number of hours needed up to eight. Growing up, if I did not get my much needed rest, I would be sick in a matter of days, inevitably. It has been a way of life. I get this from my dad, who is the only farmer I know that would not get out of bed until after 8:00am.

This being said, I hate waking up, especially early. I am NOT a morning person. I just do not care for mornings. They have been my least favorite part of the day all of my life. My mom had to work extra hard to wake me up when I lived at home, and Ryan can attest to my cries of agony every morning when my alarm goes off. Mornings…they are just for the birds.

You could understand the horror when I realized how early I would have to get up to get to work this fall. School starts early. I live an hour away. I am a lady; it takes me an hour to get ready and out the door. Yikes. That is early. And that realization hit me about August 1. I began to panic. HOW ON EARTH WILL I SURVIVE WAKING UP AT 5:30AM?!?! I only know of one 5:30 during a 24-hour period. I was positive there just could not be another. And I was wrong.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. I begin to sob. Ryan tries to tell me something about mornings being great and I drag myself to the bathroom to get ready. An hour later I am getting into my car, bags and purse in hand that I had purposefully packed the night before because I knew I would not know what was what at 5:30am. I begin to drive…in the dark. That is another of my not-so-favorite things: leaving the house before the sun comes up. It should be against the law. It is technically not “day” time until the sun shows up, but unfortunately, no one asked me.

Once I get going, I realize I am much more awake than I expected (thanks to my morning Mountain Dew), but I am still super cranky about this whole driving in the dark thing. I grumble, complain, and whine to myself for about thirty minutes. As I drive passed this small community, I look off in the distance. It is by far one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. It is a sunrise. 

Before you laugh, I can honestly tell you before this day, I had seen less than a handful of sunrises and I can assure you they did not have this same effect on me.

My breath was taken away. The grumbling, the complaining, and the whining instantly stopped, and I became filled with awe of the Creator of the sunrise. Many scriptures began to flood my mind:

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above declares his handiwork." Psalm 19:1.

"From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised." Psalm 113:3.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23.

All in an instant, my outlook of these early mornings changed. Since then, I hop out of bed (most days), and I race out the door to find a different viewpoint for this daily display of God's splendor. I start to smile as I can see the sun peeking above the horizon. For me, it has been the most tangible way to feel his new mercies every morning. Every single sunrise, I am reminded how God cares about the small things. He showed me just how amazing early mornings can be. He did not have to bring my attention to the beauty of His creation, but He did. He never stops wooing us, even after years of knowing Him. He is beautiful, my friends. 

Even in the simple, silly, mundane, everyday, sleep-and-sunrise-type-of-things, He is beautiful. He is faithful. He is merciful.

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not, as Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, sun moon, and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!" Morning by morning new mercies I see; all I have needed Thy hand hath provided-- "Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!