The Golden Year.

In light of today being my last day as a 22 year old (and the fact that we throwback on Thursdays), I decided to share a post from my last day as a 20 year old, the reflections on my "Golden Year." 

I absolutely love the idea of a “Golden Year.” I can’t remember who even introduced me to the idea of it, but whoever you are, thank you so much! For those of you who don't know, a "Golden Year" is the year that you turn the age of the date your birthday is on. Mine just happened to be 20 on the 20th! I don’t think the year could’ve happened at a greater time. I got to say goodbye to the dreaded teenage years and experience what was most definitely the best year of my entire life up to this point. Praise the Lord! So, I thought I should cover the major points of this fantastic year by the month!

February.

The day before, I planned for the goodbye of my life as a 19 year-old and thanked the Lord for showing me His loving faithfulness through the last teenage year. I celebrated with my wonderful parents, Grandma, Grandpa, and my three best friends (Mack, Taylor, Murray) on the farm.

The first day of this Golden Year, started off with a lunch with sweet Jonna Myers, Murray, and Taylor. The Cup’s sandwiches were a tasty birthday meal, which turned into one of Taylor’s and my “usuals” and was followed by a killer birthday nap. Hey, it’s hard turning 20!

March.

Ryan’s birthday was the highlight of March. Before March, I was hardly accepting or encouraging of his never-ending pursuit of me. (Boy, how things change!) However, with a little encouragement from my Nabors girls, I bought him a Fossil watch for his birthday AND took him to Cheddar’s. He fell in love…with Cheddar’s, of course! He’d fallen for me wayyy before then. 

April.

April probably wins the “scariest” month award for the year. Mack’s senior prom was in the middle of the month and being her number one fan, I HAD to be there for her very last promenade. Well, Oklahoma’s weather thought it would stop me. Ryan and I literally hopped tornadoes to get to Maysville. I missed her walking by two minutes. BUT I still got to take a fantastic picture with my favorite flamingo. She grew up entirely too fast!

Then, at the very end of the month, on Mack’s 18th birthday, I had the biggest scare of my life. I picked Ryan up on Sunday morning from the Memorial Run in the City. On the way to church, it started to rain. Obviously, we aren’t real used to that this year, and at that time, we hadn’t seen it in quite a while. I’m convinced the roads were wayyyy slicker than normal. When I exited off the interstate, I had two sharp curves. I made the first one, fish-tailed the second, when my tire blew out. Then, at 40 mph, we hit an embankment head-on. You know when people say their “life flashed before their eyes”, yeah, mine didn’t…but it was that type of moment, for sure.

Anyways, I ended up in the emergency room with a neck brace; Ryan handled it way better than me. Thankfully, nothing was really wrong. We just ached for days and couldn’t talk or walk well.  Taylor Boyd became my nurse for the week.

By God’s sweet grace, we were fine, but my car, Pretty, was not. She was totaled and I was car-less about a month.

May.

May was full of excitement!

I moved into my new apartment the first week of May after I could get around by myself once more. Finals were taking place and Taylor and I had lots and lots of free time. So, one day, the same week I almost broke my neck, we went to the lake and picnicked and canoed. Man! What a horrible time for a work out.

Ryan Todd Russ became a graduate of Southwestern Oklahoma State University. Yayyyy! I was such a proud girlfriend!

And my baby Mack graduated from Maysville High as an honor student! She is basically a legend now, no big deal.

Just a few days before I left on the most amazing trip of my life, I bought a car. Her name is Jetta, because she’s a Jetta. I like her; it’s not a “love” thing…yet.

The night before I left for Zambia, I told the man I’m going to marry that I loved him for the first time. It probably would’ve been a little longer, but I figured he should know just in case a rhinoceros got me while I was gone.

And off I went to the other side of the world with Lance, Staci, and Mack.

We had a few crash hours in London. It’s a beautiful city. We were surprised there with a ride on the London Eye and got to see Big Ben and Westminster Abbey, in real life! It was fabulous! (even if I was sleep-deprived.)

Zambia was incredible. For those of you who don’t know, we spent about 2 weeks helping at New Day Orphanage. To say the time was life-changing does not even do it justice. We got to be a part of the Lord’s work there for a short time and it was nothing short of awe-inspiring. The Lord is good and He is working! You can check out more about the orphanage and its ministry at their webpage!

June.

June was full of the little things in life that make it so fun. Ryan surprised me a few times and we had a lot of fun dates! Mack and I manned the house down in Maysville, while my sweet parents grew accustomed to a new life in Bowie, Texas.

July.

July was…..intense.

Mom and Mack’s last week at the Creek occurred during the 4th of July. I got to spend it with Ryan, as well, and we almost ran out of gas coming down the mountain. Pretty great memory. 

Mack-dawg had her last cow show. It was a real emotional ordeal for me. She has grown up doing that and she loves it. I’m still not sure how you can be good at showing a cow, but she is. She has whatever “it” is. I absolutely loved watching her throughout the years and I’m literally counting down the days until she comes out of retirement… 

Mack’s last show was in West Monroe, Louisiana, so we just called it a family vacation, as well. West Monroe is a fun place! Not to mention, Duck Commander is there. Though I had no idea who they were when I was there, knowing it now makes it THAT much better. #DuckDynasty

Ryan Todd went to Swaziland at the end of the month. I got to be on the “other side” like he was in May. I loved hearing his stories of how the Lord was working there, as well. It’s absolutely amazing to realize how big this world really is, and how much bigger our God is than that.

He returned super sick and I finally got a chance to repay him a little for all his kindness he showed to me in the first months of our relationship. Poor boy! It took forever for him to get back to normal, but he did! Thank the Lord!

August.

August brought in the “new” normal. I headed back to Weatherford to begin the second-half of my college education! It really is flying by.

I also had the awesome privilege to get a job on-campus in the Admissions and Recruitment office. I get to work with my very best friends and show off the best college, ever, every single day. Be jealous.

Mack became my roommate and started her freshman year here with me, too.

AND after an entire summer, I was reunited with my precious Sunday school children at Trinity. I thought they were growing exceptionally fast when I left. Goodness! I left them for a few months and came back to find they’re all grown-up!

September.

In September, Ryan’s grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. We got to celebrate that with them and a number of family and friends. It’s extraordinary to know them and to celebrate such a beautiful marriage, especially in the time we live in now. At their party, though, I saw Grandma Sue’s wedding dress. I loved it. Her grandmother made it for her and it was just extremely lovely. After their party, Lauren Paige and I decided to see if I could fit in it. Lo and behold, it fit like a glove. What an enjoyable day! 

Also in September, Ryan surprised me with tickets to an OU game. So I did some of my own surprising and stole him away one Saturday for the Oklahoma State Fair. He’d been there, but not in a very long time. Me, I feel like I grew up there. It was the first year in a veryy long time that Mack wasn’t showing in it, either. It turned out to be a super hot Oklahoma day. However, we still managed to enjoy some delicious fair food, like a turkey leg and fried cheese on a stick. YUMMMM! Then off to the OU game we went! It was a really fun time and I got to sit next to a little girl that came with her dad for the first time. She hated all the noise, so I tried to keep her mind off of it. Plus, we played horribly that night and lost, so she was keeping me from having to watch the horror, also.

October.

Thank the LORD for October. October just happens to be one of my favorite months of the year. The weather is changing, football is in full swing, boots are being worn. It’s just beautiful here in Oklahoma.

Well, now October will forever hold one of the most amazing memories of my life…The Proposal!

You can see all the pictures and the story, and PLEASE enjoy the video!

November.

The first weekend in November, I said “YES to the dress!” (By the way, I can’t wait until it’s in…) Obviously I can’t show a picture of this one, but just know it’s amazing.

We got to spend our first Thanksgiving as a couple and enjoyed running all over the state to enjoy our families. The holiday season is always a joy!

December.

During December, I got to experience 12.12.12. Pretty big day since I won’t see the next 01.01.01. That’s sort of depressing, so, let’s move on…

Christmas time always seems to come faster and go by even more quickly every year. I love the time of celebrating our Savior’s birth with family and friends that you only get to see during that time. We had several great get-togethers over the break!

One HUGE thing happened on Christmas Eve that made this Christmas one I’ll never forget: my parents bought a house in Texas. It was such a bittersweet feeling, but I enjoyed having the last Christmas in the house I grew up in with the dear family I have been blessed with.

On Christmas day, the snow (by snow, I mean “ice”) came down and we had the first White Christmas in quite a long time. We had both sets of grandparents over, my aunt Paula and uncle Stewart, and my uncle Lee. It was quite literally one of the best Christmases I have ever had. I’m thankful to the Lord for giving us the pleasure of being together in that house one last time.

I also shot a gun for the first time in December. Yes, that is epic enough to make this novel. ;) After the third shot, I was a pro!

Then came New Year’s Eve! I gave Ryan tickets to the Thunder game that night for Christmas! It was my first game and we were super excited about it! We left Weatherford (late, I might add) and still made it to tip-off! I think he had a blast; I know I did, for sure! After the game, we had some breakfast food at IHOP, and then we walked around downtown until it was time to bring in the New Year!

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…

January.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yes, so I got to ring in my first New Year with the guy I will ring in many more with! It was SUCH a fun night! We got back home at two in the morning, and then I woke up early and went to have my black-eyed-peas for lunch at the Gillham residence!

On January 3, my cousins had a darling baby boy. His name is Bowen Mack Gillham! Brock and Katrina are his proud parents and I got to see him the night after he was born! He’s a cutie and growing like a weed! I’m still ecstatic for Brock and Katrina and tell Bowen every time I hold him that we’re going to be the best of friends, like his dad and I are!

Ryan and I also attended our first marriage conference in January, put on by Henderson Hills Baptist Church in Edmond. Paul Tripp came to speak and it was such a challenging weekend! I’m so glad we went prior to being married. It also was a wonderful opportunity to spend time with our precious church family a little more! We also began marriage counseling with my “other” dad and mom (Steve and Amanda) in Mayberry that same weekend! I’m so blessed to have them in my life and for the examples they are to me as individuals and as a couple for Ryan and me.

AND on the VERY last day of January, Ryan and I bought a house! Yes! It was another amazing example of how God is sovereign and He provides in His perfect timing. We started working on it the night we bought it and it has been another once in a lifetime experience that just happened to end up in the Golden Year! 

February

February is obviously my favorite month! Some days snow falls, some days feel like spring, but love is certainly in the air. Though I have a precious man in my life that makes every single day feel like Valentine’s Day, it’s still a fun holiday! AND occurs right before the end of this year, so it must be shared. Ryan and I exchanged gifts and enjoyed a lovely dinner at Downtown Diner to celebrate, too! It was our first “real” Valentine’s date, because the year before I was quite sick. This one was lovely! Every day with him is lovely.

The End.

And now we’re back, back to where this Golden Year began. Tonight (February 19), I’m finishing up this note and the last day of the Golden Year. I celebrated over a dinner date with some of my very favorite people and then enjoyed some homework and time with my twin.

As I look back over this year, I am brought to tears, joyous tears. Every year of life the Lord blesses me with is truly golden, I know that, but I enjoyed making this one “special” by giving it a name. I must thank the Lord ultimately, though, for salvation, for life, and for the blessings He pours out on His children. I have been singing one of my favorite hymns since I woke up this morning. I’m sure it’s been annoying to the people around me that have heard it all day, but I feel like this song completely wraps up the entire year…and every day after.

“Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changes not, Thy compassions, they fail not; as Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, sun moon, and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide; strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow; blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see! All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided—great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!”

Amazing Grace.

Over the last few years, I have learned that transparency in the life of a Christian is imperative for actual growth and community. With that being said, I am going to be transparent with those of you reading this for a moment: I struggle with forgiveness. This affects my life in two major, ugly ways. First, I have a hard time forgiving people who have wronged me, and consequently, it is difficult for me to understand the magnitude of God’s forgiveness through Christ’s sacrifice. During certain times of my life, I find myself doubting if God could REALLY forgive a sinner like me. Quite frankly, I have to consciously fight to not hold grudges against a person after just one wrong offense towards me or a loved one. I know I have and endless amount of offenses against God. Thankfully, when I experience times like these and need to take nothing but truth in, God faithfully leads my heart to remember the Gospel.

Have you ever experienced those sweet moments where Scripture comes to life and manifests deep down in your soul? Of course, we have the Holy Spirit to reveal the Word to us every time we dig into it, but somehow truths from stories you may have read 500 times and think you fully understand, jump off the page, take residence in your heart, and begin to saturate your life upon reading them for the 501^st time. I have written about one of those dear moments before, and I experienced that again a couple of weeks ago when I reread a passage of the Bible that was mentioned in Mingling of Souls (Side note: I totally encourage you to read that book!) 

The Book of John, chapter 8, verses 2-6a say:

Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him that they might have some charge to bring against him.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that you are that woman. You are the one being dragged to the temple and put down in front of a crowd of "righteous" accusers, in front of the holy and truly righteous Lord. But you do not recognize that is who He is…yet.

They shout to this man you have heard about, the one who has done no wrong. He is the one who is healing the lame, giving sight to the blind, freeing people from demons, feeding five thousand, calling out the sins of the self-righteous, and the one that people are whispering about potentially being the Son of God, the Messiah. People follow this man across the countryside to hear Him speak.

Now, you find yourself in the temple amidst the experts of the Law. These people are telling Him of your sin, your disgrace. They are reminding Him of what the law says you deserve: death. You deserve death by being stoned for your sin. 

Scripture goes on to say in verses 6b-8:

Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground.

You are all alone in the middle of this crowd. You are afraid, vulnerable, ashamed, but worst of all, you are guilty. You are guilty of what these people have accused you of. And that is just the one sin they caught you in and know about. You are hoping they do not know anymore. 

Scripture does not go into detail on what the woman did in the next few moments. However, I know if I were this woman, I would ball up on the ground and brace myself for the stones that were to come. I am guilty, and I know there is no way out. On top of that, most of the gathered people act as if they are sinless, and the woman had to be almost certain that Jesus was. She had no chance of escape. 

But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman before him. (verse 9)

I am sure she heard the large rocks drop to the ground through her cries as each person started to walk away, and I cannot help but wonder if she thought they just had terrible aim. She knew death is what she deserved. 

Nobody knows how long she was there. Jesus had been scribbling in the dirt and I, for one, would love to know what He was scribbling. Was He channeling his inner early childhood educator and taking a break to play? (Highly doubt that one, but doing what I do, I did think about it). Was He documenting all of her transgressions? Was He jotting out what He was soon to do for her and all the rest of humanity's sin? Was He writing her new names in Him once he overcomes death? Redeemed. Forgiven. Adopted. Beloved. Beautiful.

Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” (verses 10-11)

After all the accusers had disappeared, Jesus walks over to the woman and asks if any have accused her. I would guess her eyes were still full of tears and she was a little disoriented. Minutes before, she was planning to experience her own death. I bet her head spun around, and she jumped up in disbelief to find He was the only one left. Then, she responds and addresses him as “Lord.” Her eyes were opened and she saw who He was. The ONLY person who could rightfully accuse and judge her says He will not condemn her. The ONLY person who could offer real grace and forgiveness shares it with her.

Can you imagine her walk home?

Everybody in town probably felt as if they were seeing a dead person walking. According to the law, this woman should have been killed.

Can you imagine the change in her heart and life over the following days? She had experienced grace beyond belief.

Can you imagine hearing her talk of this man named Jesus--the one who showed such mercy, grace, forgiveness, love, gentleness, and compassion?  

She was completely undeserving of His response. It had to be impossible for her to not share with everyone.

Can you see her following after Jesus to the ends of the earth, wherever He was leading? 

Jesus had become her Lord.

Scripture does not reveal how this woman responded or what became of her after this encounter with Jesus. I do know she had been changed forever because of Him. How do I know that? Because when I saw my own sin, shame, and disgrace and recognized my desperate need of salvation, Jesus was standing there, offering forgiveness and amazing grace to save me. I am the wretch the song speaks of.

Since I often become one of the self-righteous accusers with a rock in my hand (and more times than not, the last one to walk away), I find myself wallowing in my own shame, listening to the lies of the Deceiver who is saying there is no way Jesus could forgive someone like me. This is the reason why this passage has made such an impression on my soul the last couple of weeks. I literally have thought about it nonstop. What amazing grace!!! In the words of Paul Tripp, "There is no life so deeply and tragically sinful that it's beyond the reach of God's amazing, rescuing grace."

The woman in John 8 is me. Whether you know it or not, that woman is you, also. The most important questions now are: do we trust the Righteous Lord fully for our salvation and forgiveness or do we think we can clean ourselves up? Do we believe Jesus is who He says He is and that He desires to give His amazing grace or do we believe there is no possible way He could forgive us for that sin?

I believe Jesus! I am taking His helping, gentle, healing hand, getting up, chasing wholeheartedly after Him, and forever singing of, speaking of, and striving to share His amazing grace! 

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. 
I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now I see.

'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear, and Grace my fears relieved; 
How precious did that Grace appear the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. 
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures; 
He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures.

When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun. 
We've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we first begun."

Wild About You!

Ryan and I have been going nonstop as of late. As much as I have loved the holidays and all that comes with the break, I was close to being exhausted of the continual traveling and lack of normalcy. I missed having my husband to myself. I missed my bed. I missed my dog being able to be free all the time. I missed my routine. I missed my Kinders.

Towards the end of last week, Ryan came down with one of the many somethings going around. All weekend, I took care of him (trying to not get it at the same time). I needed to prepare things for Monday. Even though, I had tried my best to leave my classroom ready for me to walk in the door and be back into our routine we have worked hard to master since August. Every time I sat down to get my last minute things together, as I would on typical Sunday evenings, Ryan would need me (Which I am not complaining about. I love my husband. I hate when he is sick. I try my best to shorten the sickness by helping and serving him). In the midst of the ups and downs, I forgot to make a mental note of books to read to my littles on Monday morning.

I read to my kids often. Personally, I believe it is the single best thing I can do for them, aside from telling and showing them I love them. I read to my students several times a day, and I try to be intentional with the books I read aloud. I try to pick books on topics that my students have shown interest in, books that are apart of our theme, or character building books to have mini lessons with. Sure, sometimes I let my kids pick or I reach back in the drawer and grab whatever catches my eye, but usually, I am intentional. Not today. Nope. That part of my day had completely slipped my mind during the chaos.

There we all are, about to begin Daily 5, on the first day back from a two-week Christmas break, trying to remain in routine as best as possible, and Mrs. Russ forgets to pick a book to read. Way to go, Russ, way to go. I try to not panic and begin to slowly search the rug for the books my students have found to read for the day.

Aha! Wild About You! is sitting in a little’s lap with zebras, giraffes, and monkeys present in the illustrations. "That book goes with our classroom theme," I thought, "making it not completely random." I did what anybody would do in the same situation, I asked the child if I could read it to the class. He gave me the okay, and I took a big sigh of a relief. Those few seconds were too close to ruining my otherwise normally flowing morning. (Side note to my teacher friends that are still reading this: 99.9% of the time I follow the teacher law that demands reading books BEFORE reading them aloud to the class. I know I broke the law this time. I know, and I am sorry. I hope it does not happen again, but it honestly might. I am a first year teacher. It still is all a little hectic).

I open the book and begin reading… Instantly, I am reading about a zoo, a zoo full of babies; every animal has a baby, except for the pandas and the tree kangaroos (whatever those are). The pandas and tree kangaroos are upset because they have not been blessed with a baby. That is, until the zoo gets in an egg that nobody wants. Every bird in the zoo rejects the egg. The tree kangaroos step up. They adopt the egg, watch it hatch into a penguin, and love her completely. They need help, though; they do not have the slightest clue about raising a penguin. The rest of their animal friends jump in to lend a hand.

Later on in our children’s book, the pandas adopt a few kittens. They, too, end up confused and troubled on how to adequately raise a baby that is not at all like them. Again, the zoo friends step up and help them out. After all, it takes a whole zoo to help raise a baby (Or is that how that saying goes?).

Adoption. I, unknowingly, picked a book about adoption, something extremely near and dear to my heart. (Another side note: Usually, I turn into a crybaby reading about adoption. I was in full Mrs. Russ mode. Mrs. Russ cannot cry because then all my Kinders would cry, and we would get nothing accomplished. I chose to hold it together). 

On the way home, I let what seemed to be such a minuscule moment turn into the monumental occurrence that it absolutely happened to be. I have been convicted lately of keeping times like these minuscule, chalking it up to coincidence (like it could just randomly happen or something), not giving praise to the One who is majestically monumental. God sovereignly orchestrates these occurrences for me to slow down, remember why I am even where I happen to be, and praise Him. In these sweet, kind, "small" moments, God reminds me of these enormous, awe-inspiring truths: He is in control. He is sovereign. He sees me. He knows me. He cares for me. He loves me. He is "wild about me." 

I did not really take on a New Year’s resolution, because His mercies are new every single morning, not just on January 1st of each year. Although, after this morning, I resolve to allow the minuscule to become monumental each day, to see His hand in the mundane and the craziness, and to give Him the praise He rightfully deserves even when the instance may seem insignificant. I challenge you to do the same. 

P.S. If you would like to add the book I referenced to your children’s library (parents, teachers, or people of any sort), you can find it here.

Adopted.

I use the phrase “life-changing” on a daily basis. I would be extremely embarrassed to hear the number of times I say something along the lines of “It changed my life,” in a single day. Honestly, there are few things that have actually affected my life. In even more honesty, I have seriously claimed moments as “life-changing,” not realizing what would continue taking place deep down in my soul.

In my freshman year of college, I found myself in the dreaded Intro to Public Speaking course. We had to give three speeches during a semester: an informative speech, a persuasive speech, and a special occasion speech. I did a horrible job presenting the informative speech. It may come as a huge surprise to all who know me well, but I am not very confident speaking in front of a room. If I am sitting safely in my chair among others, I can talk to anybody, but put me in front of a class and I get emotional (I will blame that on Kerry’s genes). When we discussed the persuasive speech, I knew EXACTLY what I was going to speak over. It was something that interested me for several years before, and I had recently become extremely comfortable talking about it often: adoption.

I gave the speech—I was probably the most confident I had ever been speaking in front of people—and scored a 99 percent (Using my hands got a slightly bit out of control on that speech. Hey, I was extremely passionate, or so I thought).

Prior to this speech I had read a few books about orphan care. I could quote and share my opinion and views with the best of them. Looking back, I would only classify this as “head knowledge,” but there was a true life-changing moment right around the corner.

A year after I presented my persuasive speech over adoption, I found myself on a trip to Zambia to work in an orphanage for two weeks. After all, is that not what someone who is interested in orphan care does? They go, they come back, and they talk about it for the rest of their lives. That easily could have been me.

I tried to write this “life-altering feeling” off as exhaustion, culture shock, or an emotional high at the beginning. But there I sat after two weeks beside the most beautiful children I had ever known, having stories that made me hurt down to my bones and smile through tears of relief thanks to what God had done through New Day. We were leaving the next day. We had been in a village all afternoon and this was our last time to see the children before we were supposed to say goodbye. It was during the Wednesday night prayer meeting. A little girl came to sit on my lap. She soon fell asleep against my chest. One of the older boys sat right next to me, holding my hand. Another small boy sat in the floor with his arm wrapped around my leg. Even though I did not realize the full extent of it then, I knew I was experiencing a life-changing moment. I cried and cried as I thanked God for rescuing these children. When it was time to leave that place, I stood up and stared at where I sat for a long time. I knew I would never be the same.

Months and months later, I found myself broken every time I read the growing number of orphans in the world. Do not get me wrong, it always stopped me dead in my tracks before, but I would soon forget and go on like normal. However, I could not do that anymore. See, I had held one of those 153 million children in my arms as she fell asleep. I held the hand of one of the 153 million orphans as he prayed to his Heavenly Father. That staggering number with six zeroes behind it was no longer only a statistic to me. No, it had been made real. 

The world tells the orphan they are worthless, burdensome, and unlovable. That used to be me. I was a spiritual orphan. I was a sinner separated from the Most High God. I had nothing to offer. I was dirty, poor, and without a Father. But God in His great grace…

 “In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 1:4-5.

“…You have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” Romans 8:15.

…adopted me through Jesus. He tells me my worth. He takes my sin and burdens away; He chooses me and loves me. He is my Father. He rescues. He redeems. He restores. He makes me apart of His family, forever.

Like I found out, we cannot make this identification and then simply stop. Throughout scripture God identifies Himself as a Father to the fatherless. He hears and sees the earthly orphan, the same as He hears and sees the spiritual orphan. (Watch! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQXGRwR4N2Q)

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home...” Psalm 68:5-6.

And God calls His adopted children to action.

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:17.

I may read countless books over adoption, fly across the country for conferences, watch thousands of adoption videos, and talk about the doctrine until my face becomes blue, but until my head knowledge turns to heart knowledge and I am moved into action, it is all in vain.

I can hear the arguments now: “Madison, I am not called to care for the orphan.”

Please let me point you to James 1:27.

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27.

James 1:27 simply does not come with asterisks. We are all showed this grace by God adopting us so that we can show it to others.

“Well, I know I am not called to adoption.”

Too often we think that is the only way to care for the orphan. Adoption is one way; there are COUNTLESS other ways to fulfill this commandment, based on what the Holy Spirit leads you to. (Examples: Pray, advocate, sponsor a child,  give to orphan care ministries, families on the adoption journey, etc., volunteer your time at orphanages and children’s homes, for adoptive/foster families, etc, adopt, foster care, mentor…Oh, and I will just go ahead and throw out a few websites that I know a bit about and give you a start: here, here, and here)

My prayer for this post is that someone sees orphan care in another light. Whether that be to see it is a command in scripture, the picture of the gospel it portrays, or ways to get involved.

We are all called to care for the orphan in some form or fashion. I pray that you will have that life-changing moment, realizing your adoption through Christ into God’s family, and that it will sink deep down into your soul, leaving your head and settling in your heart, and move you to obey.

Lord willing, one day I will be able to sing these words over my child. I can assure you, it will be another one of those few, true, life-altering moments for me.

“I've never felt this way before. 

Funny how you found your way to my door, 

and suddenly my prayers are coming true. 

These arms are not letting go of you.

This love, this love is the deep kind. 

You’re my baby; you’re my sunshine. 

I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan, 

and I’ll love you all of the time.

Our eyes are not quite the same shade, 

and your hair blows in the wind a different way.

But I am your mother, and I love you just the same.

so I'll take your hand, honey, and you can take my name.

My heart has been redeemed, adopted, 

and now I know my Father. 

This grace that I’ve received, 

I want to show you, I want to show you.

This love, this love is the deep kind. 

It hangs on through the storm and the sunshine. 

I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan, 

and I’ll love you all of the time.”

Sleep and Sunrise.

My mother has always said that I require more sleep than the average human being. She has told me countless times that I am the person who keeps the average number of hours needed up to eight. Growing up, if I did not get my much needed rest, I would be sick in a matter of days, inevitably. It has been a way of life. I get this from my dad, who is the only farmer I know that would not get out of bed until after 8:00am.

This being said, I hate waking up, especially early. I am NOT a morning person. I just do not care for mornings. They have been my least favorite part of the day all of my life. My mom had to work extra hard to wake me up when I lived at home, and Ryan can attest to my cries of agony every morning when my alarm goes off. Mornings…they are just for the birds.

You could understand the horror when I realized how early I would have to get up to get to work this fall. School starts early. I live an hour away. I am a lady; it takes me an hour to get ready and out the door. Yikes. That is early. And that realization hit me about August 1. I began to panic. HOW ON EARTH WILL I SURVIVE WAKING UP AT 5:30AM?!?! I only know of one 5:30 during a 24-hour period. I was positive there just could not be another. And I was wrong.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. I begin to sob. Ryan tries to tell me something about mornings being great and I drag myself to the bathroom to get ready. An hour later I am getting into my car, bags and purse in hand that I had purposefully packed the night before because I knew I would not know what was what at 5:30am. I begin to drive…in the dark. That is another of my not-so-favorite things: leaving the house before the sun comes up. It should be against the law. It is technically not “day” time until the sun shows up, but unfortunately, no one asked me.

Once I get going, I realize I am much more awake than I expected (thanks to my morning Mountain Dew), but I am still super cranky about this whole driving in the dark thing. I grumble, complain, and whine to myself for about thirty minutes. As I drive passed this small community, I look off in the distance. It is by far one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. It is a sunrise. 

Before you laugh, I can honestly tell you before this day, I had seen less than a handful of sunrises and I can assure you they did not have this same effect on me.

My breath was taken away. The grumbling, the complaining, and the whining instantly stopped, and I became filled with awe of the Creator of the sunrise. Many scriptures began to flood my mind:

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above declares his handiwork." Psalm 19:1.

"From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised." Psalm 113:3.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23.

All in an instant, my outlook of these early mornings changed. Since then, I hop out of bed (most days), and I race out the door to find a different viewpoint for this daily display of God's splendor. I start to smile as I can see the sun peeking above the horizon. For me, it has been the most tangible way to feel his new mercies every morning. Every single sunrise, I am reminded how God cares about the small things. He showed me just how amazing early mornings can be. He did not have to bring my attention to the beauty of His creation, but He did. He never stops wooing us, even after years of knowing Him. He is beautiful, my friends. 

Even in the simple, silly, mundane, everyday, sleep-and-sunrise-type-of-things, He is beautiful. He is faithful. He is merciful.

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not, as Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, sun moon, and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!" Morning by morning new mercies I see; all I have needed Thy hand hath provided-- "Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!